But no matter how tough I am, I realized that I have a soft spot too. And no matter how strong I can be, I realized that I have a weakness too.
But life has its funny way of making me realize not only how vulnerable I am but how susceptible I am to life's little trials. And in one phone call my disposition in life was altered.
A couple of months ago an abnormal cell was found in my pap smear. That particular cell according to my doctor may cause cancer. I was advised to see an Ob Gyne and was scheduled for biopsy right away. The tough cookie was then turned into a scaredy cat. The strong dude is now a wimpy kid.
I was scared out of my wits but I was able to contain myself with the same amount of dignity while holding on to my faith harder than I used to. I thought I will be able to keep the sad news to myself and decided that I would just tell my immediate family and no one else. But two days before my scheduled biopsy... with a little hint of doubt [I had to admit] and a fear ample enough to crack me into panic attack... I sent out a message to all my closed friends and relatives and former students and colleague about the sad news... asking for their prayers.
I knew then that I need support from people who care to help me keep the faith. I felt then that I badly need to surround myself with caring people from whom I can draw strength from. I have never felt so helpless and scared.
The following day... I was deeply touched for the outpouring of love and concern from my dear family and friends all over the world. I am so grateful for all the prayers and thoughts thrown out my way during this crucial event in my life. And I am mostly thankful for God's blessing not only for the faith but for the love of those people who I know care so much for me. Their prayers gave the strength that I needed to keep the faith. Their thoughts served as a strong pole that I can hold on to to keep my hope stronger.
I didn't need to undergo biopsy. My Ob Gyne told me that the abnormal cell found in my pap smear is normal since it was found during the menstrual period. And she told me that I have nothing to worry about.
I was relieved and I was grateful for how the consultation went on. But I was most grateful for the opportunity given to me to realize how blessed I am to have people who care so much for me.
Lord, thank you for the gift of life
And thank you for giving me another take on life
Thank you for the gift of people who care
And thank you for making me realize how fortunate I am to have them in my life.